How to Stay True Yourself - Tips from a Life and Relationship Coach

Are you lying to yourself? 

I was…

I was lying to myself that I was ok in a job that I was not really satisfied with.

I was lying to myself that I was ok to settle for a man that wasn’t treating me the way I wanted to be treated as a woman.

I was lying to myself that I was fine and did not really need to share how I was really feeling in certain relationships with family and friends.

Lying to yourself comes with consequences down the road.

I had a career as CPA for over 15 years and was unhappy with a bad case of insomnia. .   

I started taking yoga to help with insomnia and it helped and more importantly I started to connect to my body and soul and what was important to me vs lying to myself that I was happy in this career. 

And I wasn’t lying to myself on purpose, it is really from programming and conditioning from our role models and society to do so.

We live in a society that wants us to conform.  Get a job in corporations to make money and play it safe vs doing  something that you are really passionate about. 

I remember 20 years ago when I decided to leave my career as a CPA and become a yoga instructor. My Uncle gave me a hard time about it…:Are you nuts?  You put all that hard work in and now you are going to be a yoga instructor.   

And I was solid within myself at the time and said, Yes I am! Happily 

And although I was making great progress in connecting to my authentic self and following what I truly wanted to do, I found myself in a series of relationships with men that were not treating me right and I wasn’t being real with them. 

I would be dating men and have sex with no commitment, and deep down I really wanted a commitment and so much more and never spoke up.

I did not know it was a programming that was hiding within myself that was keeping me from being honest.  I blamed it on the men. 

What I discovered was deep down I had a hidden belief that I wasn't Important from certain experiences that happened with my childhood.

A belief that I wasn’t important kept me from being true to myself and what was important to me because I was constantly seeking validation from others.  

Once I got that and released it, magic happened.

I ended up meeting my now husband Jim (12 years ago) and he is the complete opposite of the man I was dating…he adored me, unconditionally loved me,and wanted to spend the rest of his life with me. 

I could be myself and love myself!

This continues in a long term relationship as you can get lost within yourself.

To continue to connect to my desires and needs and what is important to me.

This is so important for both parties in a relationship to create a safe space for both people to share how they are feeling and honor each others’ needs.  

This creates authenticity, vulnerability, and connection. 

Also, it is very important that you don’t  let the relationship be a sole source of your happiness.  

It is important to know what makes you happy and pursue those things vs losing yourself.

Our authentic self is the true essence of who we are, free from societal expectations, masks, and pretenses. It is the unique combination of our values, passions, strengths, and vulnerabilities.

It takes some peeling back layers that have accumulated over time to reveal our true nature and essence.  These layers are from programming from our role models, society, and cultural conditioning, and the need for approval from others.   

Self-reflection is a powerful tool for connecting with our authentic self. It involves setting aside time to contemplate our thoughts, feelings, and experiences with compassion. 

It is important to spend time alone to facilitate self-discovery, such as journaling, meditation, or spending time alone in nature.

Ask yourself meaningful questions: What makes me come alive? What are my values? What are my passions? What do I truly want in life? Listen to your inner voice and trust your intuition. The more we listen, the clearer our authentic self becomes.

And to honor yourself  

You decide to belong to yourself.  

You get to decide to be honest with yourself.

You get to decide to honor what is real for you

You get to decide what is important to you.

If this is resonating with you, and want to take this at a deeper level.   I am now offering retreats in in the healing vortex energy of Sedona, Arizona to take that time for yourself to peel back the programming to be in your true essence and live a life where you feel alive.  Let’s set up a time to chat to discuss your desires and what is getting in the way of you having a life you love.  If you are not ready to take a trip to Sedona, we can also do this virtually.   Click here to setup a time to chat;

Kim Quick