How to Set Healthy Boundaries - Tips from a Life and Relationship Coach

Healthy boundaries define what is appropriate behavior in our relationships. 

When you create boundaries it sets both people up for success in a relationship. 

But let’s first understand what boundaries are.

Boundaries can be limits we identify for ourselves, and apply through action or communication. 

Boundaries can be identified as our needs, values and desires.

It is important to first know your needs, values and desires. 

Sometimes we don't know what we need until we are in situations that bring forth feelings or emotions.

That is why it is so important to pay attention to your feelings and emotions vs pushing them down and suppressing them. 

For example, my husband and I work from home.   He would visit me in my office throughout the day interrupting me when I was focusing on writing my newsletters.  I found myself getting irritated every time he would drop in to communicate something to me and I could not be 100% present with him.   I took some time to think about it later.   What was really going on with me?  I sat with myself and tuned into my body.  What am I feeling here?  What else am I feeling?  What is a need that I am not expressing here?   Then I thought to myself ok, I need to set a boundary here.  I need to put up a sign that says “do not disturb for the next two hours” and share that with my husband that I will be doing that.j

So we can see that a way to set boundaries is to first connect to your feelings and emotion and where you are feeling that in your body.   Then ask yourself the question:  What do I really need here?

Then you can communicate it in a kind and respectful manner.

Otherwise, when we continue to bottle up our feelings and emotions, we can be passive aggressive and either just shut down or blow up (as I was ready to do, LOL).

Please note that we have been conditioned to push our feelings and emotions down and to ignore our needs.  

And when you can practice what I shared above, it will open up a deeper connection because you can share what you need openly and create win-win situations in relationships.